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23 years anniversary
I was re-reading an article about Emotional Integration by Dr Glover yesterday.
I observe in myself that when sex is not of my preferred frequency, I feel anxious and I would try to manage this anxiousness.

Dr Glover basically tells me to observe my behaviors and these anxiousness are subconscious. If I am conscious about my feelings more each day, I can make choices on how I handle them, and I can handle them.

Dr Glover also suggest that I set aside time to focus obsess about the lack of sex, but give it a time limit of say 10 minutes. After this time, I need to consciously not think about it--take a moratorium from obsessing about the lack of sex.

So, I did exactly that yesterday afternoon and throughout the evening. I focused on other things I want to do. When sex comes up, I focus elsewhere. By the time bedtime came, I joined the wife in bed. I gave her the massage, and ask if we're going to do it that night, instead of tomorrow morning as to our agreement schedule.

I managed not to have any attachment to the outcome. No worry about her pleasure, no worry about my performance. I just focused on enjoying the moment. It turns out that our making love was different from previous once. I was fulfilled. I enjoyed the moment and experience. My wife too also enjoyed and freely shared and expressed her enjoyment with me.

May 20, 1986. I gave my wife a hug and kiss in bed before I left for the day. I greeted her "Happy 23 year Anniversary. I still remember our day. I love it." Today is our 23rd anniversary as boyfriend-girlfriend.


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